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I’m not exactly sure why I’m creating this blog right now… I guess it’s just one of those days where my rants in life are over the top and I have to put them in text forms, or else…
Lately, too many things are happening inside my head. It’s like the world within my mind is creating a world of its own inside my head, and just wanting to take over! Too many things have passed that I already lost count of. I guess I’d start with work… I’m just about sick to my stomach right now that I want to get out of my current job, and look somewhere else. Medyo mahirap na rin kasi sa ngayon ang sitwasyon lalo na nung umalis si mother to go to Singapore and look for a freakin’ job, that she can’t seem to land for some reason that I don’t know. And besides, I’ve been burning my ass in the call center industry for 4 years now, but I’m still in denial that this is not want I’ve plan when I was in college… and to make matters worst, I’m working in a call center right now that pays me almost minimum wage! Where as, if you guys look at the other centers in town, day shift or not, they pay way higher that what I ‘m currently receiving… Tulad na nga rin ng sinabi ko sa mga kaibigan ko nung huli kaming magkasama-sama (Kudos to Mark P.), gusto ko sana yung work na hindi ko na kakailanganin mag-suot pa ng headset, yung may sarili akong table, office (kahit cubicle lang pero permanent seat naman), computer table, PC, ballpen (yung kailangan talaga sa work), lapis, pambura para sa lapis, papel (pwede rin kung kailangan ko mag-drawing), headset (para sa sounds ‘to ha!), sariling locker, tulugan kung kailangan, at kung anu-ano pa… Basta hindi na lang ako mangangailangan na mag-suot ng headset para tumawag sa mga taong wala namang balak makipag-usap sa akin, at sumagot ng tawag para sa mga taong walang balak makipag-usap ng maayos…
Yun nga lang, kung sakaling mangyayari yun, ayoko rin naman ng work na para lang ako robot na di susi, na sisimulan sa umaga at matatapos sa hapon… I’m not exactly a fan of tediousness… I want something with ample amount of adventure on it, but not too much for it too take away my sanity. Kung pwede lang sana karirin ang paggawa ng poems para kumita eh di araw-araw gumawa na ako, but then again, writing, alone cannot put food on our plates and I really have to look for something that could support our needs… MY NEEDS…
Another frustration right now is that freakin’ Embassy! I kept on applying for positions that I know I can do well, but they just seem too unexcited to even look at my applications… Maganda rin sana kung doon ako mapupunta since the place is very near our house, accessible to travel, pays big money (even for clerks), and you can bet your pwet that they are highly stable. I was telling myself, the moment that I get to penetrate inside this place… I’ll make sure I’d do the best things possible so I could stay for good! YEAH RIGHT! It never freakin’ happened! Not even a zit of a chance! I just don’t have any clue why for some reason… I can’t get the simple things that I want right now… I mean, am I not good enough for it? Do I have to do freakish things before I could get to do what I want? Am I an example of lost child, desperately trying to find my way home but got blasted in the process? I’m just not sure why some people could always have things their way without anything blocking them but I, on the other hand, have the great wall of China continuously growing in front of me, debarring me from even just breathing pinch of air on the other side… Now I know it’s not real, but I starting to believe what Vince McMahon (WWE Chairman) was saying “life sucks and then you die!”
Another one is my romantic life… As I’ve posted in my past blog posts, I’m still in dire need of attention that I’m wholeheartedly willing to reciprocate… someone that can make me feel like I’m the king of cosmos, and that I can do anything! But sadly, that moment never came as well… on the good side though, and I’m not sure if this is a good one, I’m still 0-5! Wala pa yung next na babasted sakin! Though I know I could always look for someone, but then again, there’s this one person that I need to either spend the rest of my life with or get a closure with… and I really wish that she could read my blogs because I’m nearly scourged out… but since she doesn’t, I guess there’s no harm in writing it here (and hoping against hope) that I, up to now, am still crazy over one __________… the one that I refuse to call “The One That Could Have Been,” but on the way on becoming one…
I guess it was a wrong idea to bring ______ up because I got depressed by it… I’m going to have to continue this some other time…
